Lightning is an extension for Thunderbird, not a standalone application. In other words, you cannot open Lightning without opening Thunderbird.

In FAQ's there is a paragraph on how to create a desktop/quick launch icon as a link to the Thunderbird executable with the "-calendar" parameter, I can get to the ("save as" from the file menu) but I have no save as box on anything I have tried. Is this "how can I open the calendar without opening Thunderbird first" in FAQ's no longer valid or good.? thanks

If you install Lightbird, you can launch TB, then Ctrl-8 to launch Lightning in a separate window, then close TB to have just the Lightning window open. The -calendar command-line option only launches Lightning by itself in Seamonkey.